Who is Lemony Snicket? Is there a secret organization I should know about? Why does Lemony Snicket spend his time researching and writing distressing books concerning the Baudelaire orphans? Why do all Lemony Snicket's books contain a sad dedication to a woman named Beatrice? If there's nothing out there, what was that noise? Our advice to you is that you find a book that answers less upsetting questions than this one. Perhaps your librarian, bookseller, or parole offices can recommend a book that answers the questions, "Aren't ponies adorable?"